


I really don't want to know...or...do I?

by lanie_q_westwood



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bathing/Washing, Chatting & Messaging, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Kinks, Light-Hearted, Medical Kink, Post-Canon, Relationship(s), Romance, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 09:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10828152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanie_q_westwood/pseuds/lanie_q_westwood
Summary: A short, silly chat. Jumin and his new bride return from their honeymoon, and the other members of RFA are a bit disturbed by what they learn about their relationship.Something dumb that I had to write down just to keep it from playing on repeat in my head.





	I really don't want to know...or...do I?

Jumin Han has entered the chat room

Yoosung*: Hey Jumin!

Jumin: Hello

Jaehee: Mr. Han, you're back from your honeymoon

Jumin: Yes. We returned from the island the other day. Since our house is still not ready yet, we've been staying at the penthouse

Zen: Ooo, I was wondering where you two went on your honeymoon. Which island?

Jumin: Our island.

Zen: Your island.

Jumin: That is what I said

Zen: Wait, you two have an island?

Jumin: How stupid. Yes, we have an island. I bought it for our honeymoon.

Zen: (shocked emoji)

Yoosung*: OMG

Zen: Wow, must be nice.

Jumin: Yes, it is. It's a lovely island. 

Jumin: (smiley cat sticker)

Zen: What's the name of the island?

Jumin: I can't tell you that.

Zen: Why not?

Jumin: 1. Because Lanie Q hasn't decided on a name for it yet

Jumin: 2. Because it's private and I don't want anyone trying to find it

Zen: Wow. Ok, whatever.

Zen: Where is Lanie Q? Why isn't she on?

Jumin: She's here. She's...busy

Yoosung*: Busy? How is she?

Jumin: Well, if I must say, she's...messy

Zen: (shocked emoji)

Yooosung*: (confused emoji)

Jumin: And nearly impossible to train

Zen: ...

Jumin: She's so cute though. Whenever she realizes what she's done

Jumin: she gets the most adorable look on her face

Jumin: so I can't help but pick her up and kiss her

Jumin: and clean her up

Yoosung*: Clean her up?

Jumin: Yes. It's almost as if I have to bathe her constantly.

Jumin: Not that I mind.

Jumin: (eyebrow waggling emoji)

Zen: Hey jerk, we were asking about your wife, not that fur ball

Jumin: (annoyed emoji)

Jumin: And that is who I was talking about

Yoosung*: (shocked emoji)

Zen: Are you getting her confused with your cat again?

Jumin: Don't be ridiculous. They're totally different. Elizabeth the 3rd is a cat and Lanie Q is a woman.

[Lanie Q has entered the chat room]

Lanie Q: Jumin, you are in here

Jumin: (flowery heart sticker) Yes my love

Jumin: Were you looking for me?

Jumin: I hope you weren't worried. I didn't go far.

Lanie Q: No no, I saw you. I was watching you.

Lanie Q: (winky emoji)

Lanie Q: I saw you on your phone. I thought maybe you were doing something work related.

Lanie Q: But I decided to check in here.

Lanie Q: I'm glad

Zen: Hey Lanie Q!

Yoosung*: Lanie Q! Hi!

Jaehee: Hello Lanie Q, welcome back

Lanie Q: Hey guys

Lanie Q: Jujumint, I'm glad I thought to look for you in here

Jumin: So am I

Jumin: (eyebrow waggling emoji)

Lanie Q: I came to tell you that the room is ready now

Jumin: ...the room is ready?

Lanie Q: Yes!

Lanie Q: Sheets are tight and smooth

Lanie Q: Not a wrinkle anywhere

Lanie Q: Instruments are nice and cold

Lanie Q: And I have the mirrors positioned exactly where I want them

Jumin: ...

Zen: (shocked emoji)

Lanie Q: So, whenever you're ready

Jumin: Excuse me

[Jumin Han has exited the chat room]

Lanie Q: O!

Lanie Q: I guess he'sssssssssss

Lanie Q: bye guys!

[Lanie Q has exited the chat room]

Zen: ...

Yoosung*: ...

Jaehee: ...

[707 has entered the chat room]

707: o.O

Yoosung*: Seven, you saw?

Zen: What the hell?

Yoosung*: lolololol haha Zen

Zen: What are you laughing about?

Yoosung*: Isn't it funny?

Yoosung*: You kept worrying before that Jumin would do something weird to Lanie Q

Yoosung*: But instead it looks like

707: She's the weird one!

Yoosung*: Or maybe they're both weird

707: Yah. Jumin is def weird.

Zen: No!

Zen: (angry emoji)

Zen: He must have corrupted her somehow

Zen: Our Lanie Q is sweet and innocent. No way she would want to do anything weird on her own.

Jaehee: Hmm, I wonder...

Zen: What? No, Jaehee, you too?

Jaehee: Well, I believe we all saw how quickly Lanie Q and Mr. Han started to become close

Yoosung*: That's true. We all remarked on it.

Jaehee: And how quickly she, a new member of RFA, seemed able to understand him in ways that none of us, who knew him longer, could understand him.

Zen: Yeah, but that's just because she's such a good person

707: I'm a good person and I don't understand him

Zen: (angry emoji)

Zen: Seven, you're not a...

707: What?

Zen: Never mind

707: (shrugging emoji)

Yoosung*: So if what is Jaehee is saying is true

Jaehee: It is

Yoosung*: Lanie Q and Jumin must have been able to understand each other so easily because they had these things in common

Zen: Don't say that! That jerk has nothing in common with our Lanie Q!

Yoosung*: Actually, he kinda does

707: (blushing heart emoji)

Yoosung*: So they must have recognized those things in each other

Yoosung*: And that drew them together

707: Two strange people in the night

707: Exchanging glances

707: What are the chances?

707: (blushing heart emoji)

Yoosung*: If you think about it

Yoosung*: there can't be many people in the world like them

Yoosung*: so for them to meet here, out of all the people in the world

Yoosung*: is pretty amazing

707: True love <3

Zen: Ugh, no

Zen: I still can't believe she chose him

Zen: But I have to accept it

Zen: But I refuse to accept that our sweet, good Lanie Q is anything like that jerk

Zen: She only fell for him because she's such a kind person and she felt sorry for him

Zen: Because he's so abnormal

Zen: And was going through all those troubles before

Yoosung*: I don't know, she did also laugh at his jokes right away

707: Ya, and no one gets Jumin's jokes

Jaehee: That's because they're even less funny than yours, Luciel

707: (shocked emoji)

Yoosung*: Actually, Seven's jokes don't even make sense usually

Yoosung*: Jumin's jokes make sense but

Jaehee: they're just not funny

707: ya

Yoosung*: And sometimes he sounds serious so you can't even tell they're jokes

Jaehee: This is true. But right away Lanie Q always knew when he was joking and would laugh

Zen: Yeah, that's true. A lot of times I'd get angry about something he said, but then she would laugh

Jaehee: I often find myself wishing she was there at work when he says things...

Jaehee: (annoyed emoji)

707: The Lanie Q 500 model Jumin Han Humor Detector

Zen: Don't talk about her like she's a robot

Yoosung*: Remember when we thought Jumin was a robot?

707: lol

707: But it turns out he's not

707: He's actually pretty cheesy and sappy and overly emotional

707: at least where Lanie Q is concerned

Yoosung*: Ya, he really dotes on her

Yoosung*: (blushing emoji)

Yoosung*: He seems to take really good care of her

Zen: He better! That jerk.

Yoosung*: But what was that stuff he was saying earlier?

707: About training her?

Yoosung*: Yeah, and bathing her?

Yoosung*: (confused emoji)

707: (blushing emoji)

Yoosung*: I wonder

Zen: I don't want to know!

Jaehee: Me either

707: I do?

Yoosung*: Me too.

Yoosung*: I'm really curious.

Yoosung*: Seven, maybe there's something about it in one of those expert playboy manuals you have

707: Ooo, good thinking! I'll go research it.

Yoosung*: Ok, and I'll go search through my shoujo manga.

Yoosung*: Report back if you find anything

707: Okie. You too.

707: 707, Defender of Weird Love, over and out!

[707 has exited the chat room]

Yoosung*: Later guys!

[Yoosung* has exited the chat room]

Zen: ...

Jaehee: ...

Zen: What was that?

Jaehee: I don't want to know

Zen: (sighing emoji)

Zen: Jaehee, I feel like we're the only normal ones here

Jaehee: Yes...

Zen: Ugh, I have weird thoughts in my head now from this conversation about that jerk.

Jaehee: No...I can't...

Zen: I'm going to go work out to take my mind off it

Zen: I'll post a selfie when I'm done

Zen: Here is a before selfie

Zen: [posts a selfie]

Zen: (winking emoji)

Jaehee: (eyeglasses winking emoji)

Zen: I'll be back with an after selfie

Zen: Have a good evening Jaehee. Don't forget to eat something.

Jaehee: Yes, good bye. I hope you have a good workout and look forward to your post workout selfie.

Jaehee: with your sweat glistening on your muscles like the nectar of the gods

Zen: Haha! Look forward to it!

Zen: (winking emoji)

[Zen has exited the chat room]

Jaehee: (sighing emoji)

EXIT


End file.
